Edgewood Middle School. Juliet Mike (name changed to protect his anonymity...sort of) and I have been through the full range of what life has to offer, including a little bit of trouble and a lot of laughs. If you've got anything going on, you want Juliet Mike there--he's inch for inch and pound for pound the most restless guy in Chicago which means there's never a dull moment. I've seen (with witnesses) the guy order from a Skymall Magazine before, which paints an accurate picture for how well he sits still for long periods. And I would never dream of going to Vegas or the state of Wisconsin without at least asking if he'd go--there's really not a funnier guy to travel with.The picture above was one of the funnier nights; Halloween in Madison during our Freshman year of college. I returned from the University of Tampa with bleach blonde, and he joined the fray by attempting to bleach his thick, black hair as well. This picture is taken in the common area in his dorm at UW-Madison, we're probably watching the World Series between the Braves and Indians (don't ask how or why I remember that). We all look ridiculously stupid and young, I'm looking a bit stupider than the others.
Juliet Mike has a great family with his wife Sierra, including two daughters Bravo and Tango. He's a very successful lawyer who recently started up his own practice. If you or a family member ever need family law consultation, I would have no reservations trusting him with my life.
Juliet Mike spoke (actually wrote) about a number of topics below, and for the record, I have only edited minor portions of his responses. His response to me did come in All-Caps; which also gives you a sense for what Julie Mike's personality is like. This is a wild ass guess, but I doubt JM is a huge fan of the "inside voice", break pedals, or yoga.
Family Stuff
Tell me one thing you (or your wife) do as a parent that reminds you of your mom and one thing that reminds you of your dad.
I CAN'T REALLY PINPOINT A SPECIFIC THING BUT I THINK I HAVE A LAID BACK PARENTING STYLE THAT I LEARNED FROM BEING RAISED BY MY PARENTS. THEY WERE NEVER STRICT AND RARELY EVER HAD TO DISCIPLINE ME OR MY SISTER. OBVIOUSLY THERE WERE TIMES I MADE BAD CHOICES, AND MY PARENTS WERE SURE TO LET ME KNOW, BUT OVERALL THEY NEVER REALLY HAD TO PUNISH ME OR JAIME. JAIME AND I BOTH TURNED OUT OK, SO I HOPE THAT MY KIDS WILL LIVE AND LEARN BY EXAMPLE AND GROW UP TO BE GOOD PEOPLE.
What was your favorite meal growing up?
HARD SHELL TACOS AND MAKING OMELETTES FOR MY FRIENDS.
You guys never had pets growing up, would you ever have one as an adult? If not, how come?
NEVER. TOO MUCH WORK. TOO MESSY. IT'S ENOUGH WORK RAISING THE ANIMALS COMMONLY KNOWN AS CHILDREN...NO NEED IN MY MIND TO RAISE OTHER ANIMALS. AND WHO NEEDS PETS WHEN YOU HAVE THE WEBER FAMILY ZOO NEARBY?
You and your wife have two very young girls, what are you going to tell them to look for in a man when it comes time to date? What questions are you going to ask any guys who take your daughters out?
MY GIRLS WILL NOT BE DATING
Your family has a strong allegiance to the White Sox and I respect your loyalty. Despite growing up around mainly cub fans you've never wavered on it and I respect that. Would you be OK if a child dated/married a cub fan?
IF SOME DAY, 50 OR 60 YEARS FROM NOW, I SOMEHOW ALLOWED MY GIRLS TO DATE OR EVEN MARRY, IT WOULD BE OK TO DATE OR MARRY A CUB FAN, AS LONG AS THEY SIGNED A PRENUP ACKNOWLEDGING THAT ALL CHILDREN WOULD BE RAISED AS SOX FANS.
Career/Education
You and I began our professional sales careers together at age 15, selling shoes at Lebo's Shoe Outlet. My funniest memory has to be playing basketball in the store while customers were looking for shoes. What is yours?
I JUST REMEMBER THAT MANAGER (FORGOT HIS NAME). HE WAS OUR PARENT'S AGE. KINDA FELT BAD FOR HIM. I JUST REMEMBER YOU AND I REALLY PISSING HIM OFF ON A DAILY BASIS. I ALWAYS PICTURED HIM THINKING "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS MY LIFE!'
(Editor's Note: If you can, visually picture Richard Dreyfus from 'What About Bob' with the personality of your high school chemistry teacher. Then throw two fifteen year olds who could give two sh*ts about selling shoes into his store. Calamity ensues.)
Who was your favorite High School teacher? Why?
DON'T THINK I REALLY HAD A FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER. AND THINKING ABOUT IT, I CAN'T REALLY REMEMBER THAT MANY HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS ASIDE FROM GOLF LIMA (WHO ACTUALLY CALLED MY PARENTS TO COMPLAIN THAT I WAS BEING DISRUPTIVE IN CLASS). FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW, GOLF IS THE MOTHER OF ONE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS, ROMEO. AS FOR MY FAVORITE TEACHER, THAT WOULD BE MR. BRAVO FROM 5TH GRADE. HE WAS THE GENIUS BEHIND "BOX HOUSES". BASICALLY GROUPS OF STUDENTS WERE ALLOWED TO USE REFRIGERATOR BOXES TO CREATE A HOUSE-LIKE STRUCTURE THAT CONTAINED THE DESKS OF THE STUDENTS. MY HOUSE WAS CALLED THE SPORTSCENTER WITH A FEW OTHER GUYS, INCLUDING JULIET BRAVO.
Other than UW-Madison, what other colleges did you explore/apply to?
NEVER REALLY WANTED TO GO ANYWHERE ELSE, BUT MY PARENTS MADE ME APPLY TO A FEW OTHER SCHOOLS JUST IN CASE I DIDN'T GET INTO MADISON. I THINK I APPLIED TO ILLINOIS AND INDIANA.
What was your favorite year at Madison? Why?
HONESTLY, EVERY YEAR WAS AMAZING BUT THE MOST MEMORABLE PROBABLY WAS FRESHMAN YEAR JUST BECAUSE IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I WAS AWAY FROM HOME. ALSO WAS THE YEAR I MET ALL OF MY CLOSE COLLEGE FRIENDS, WHO I REMAIN CLOSE WITH TODAY.
Name 3 things someone should do if they have 24 hours in Madison:
1. GO TO A FOOTBALL GAME AT CAMP RANDALL STADIUM
2. GO OUT DRINKING ON STATE STREET AND HANG OUT ON STATE STREET AT BAR TIME
3. DRINK AT THE UNION TERRACE ON A NICE SUMMER DAY
Why did you choose to practice law? What other careers paths did you consider?
REALLY CHOSE LAW BECAUSE I WASN'T SURE OF WHAT ELSE I WANTED TO DO. I OBVIOUSLY AM GLAD I CHOSE THE PROFESSION AND LOVE WHAT I DO, BUT I MOST LIKELY ENDED UP A LAWYER BECAUSE MY DAD WAS A LAWYER AND I FIGURED WHY NOT FOLLOW IN HIS FOOTSTEPS.
The big textbooks you see in law offices, do those things really get used any more, or do you use the web to research prior cases?
THOSE BIG TEXTBOOKS ARE NEVER USED. AT LEAST AT MY LAW OFFICES. THESE DAYS, ALL LEGAL RESEARCH CAN BE DONE ONLINE.
You've started your own family law practice, which includes handling divorce cases. I'm sure you've heard many reasons for why couples are getting divorced, what would you say the top three reasons are? Why do you think those issues are so common?
TOP REASONS FOR DIVORCE USUALLY, BUT NOT ALWAYS, CONCERN ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER):
1. INFIDELITY
2. MONEY
3. GROWING APART OVER THE YEARS (FOR WHATEVER REASON)
Every industry has problems. Sports has the steroid issue. Politics has corruption. Healthcare has the competing interests. What are the biggest problems in our judicial system these days?
IN COOK COUNTY, THE JUDICIAL SYSTEM IS OVERLOADED, SLOW, AND SIMPLY WITHOUT THE RESOURCES TO RUN SMOOTHLY, EFFECTIVELY, AND IN A TIMELY MANNER. NOT SURE WHOSE FAULT THAT IS.
You and Chad served as campaign managers during my bid to become secretary of 6th grade at Edgewood school. We were not successful in the campaign, potentially due to a smear campaign against me. What should we have done differently?
WE SHOULD HAVE STOLEN THE BALLOT BOX.
The DFL
(Degenerate Fantasy League--the Fantasy football league with me and 20+ other friends)
You've served as the Comissioner of the Degenerate Fanatsy League, which is now entering its 9th season. Having served as a comissioner myself (in other leagues) I know it can be a thankless job. What do you like most about it? What do you dislike about it?
I LIKE BEING IN CHARGE OF THINGS AND NOT HAVING TO WAIT ON OTHERS TO GET THINGS DONE. CALL ME SELFISH, CALL ME FIDEL, I'D RATHER JUST GET STUFF DONE MYSELF THAN WAIT FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT LATER ON AND IN A WAY I PROBABLY DON'T LIKE.
The league has changed a lot since its original year, what do you remember about year one?
WE REALLY DIDN'T HAVE MUCH OF A CLUE ABOUT WHAT WE WERE DOING BUT I THINK IT WAS A SUCCESSFUL YEAR NONETHELESS. THE DFL HAS GROWN IN SO MANY WAYS IN THE PAST 9 YEARS, IT BRINGS A TEAR TO MY EYE THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH MY BABY HAS GROWN UP AND MATURED.
With kids and a growing law practice, do you ever envision a day when you don't have time to handle your duties as comissioner?
WHEN I'M DEAD.
You have a staff of Officers (other owners in the league); what makes our treasurer, Sierra Charlie so good at what he does?
HE IS THE BEST ASSET A FANTASY LEAGUE COMMISSIONER COULD EVER HAVE. HE MAKES THE DFL THE BEST FANTASY LEAGUE OF ALL TIME. HIS WORK AND EFFORT IS INVALUABLE AND THIS LEAGUE WOULD NOT BE THE SAME WITHOUT HIM.
How about the keeper general?
A VERY UNDERRATED PART OF THE DFL. IT'S NOT EASY KEEPING TRACK OF EVERY TRANSACTION THAT GOES ON AND ECHO KEEPS TRACK OF IT ALL. GREAT PERSON TO HAVE IN THE FRONT OFFICE AS A CONSULTANT TO ME AND AS THE GENERAL HIMSELF.
Describe for me an ideal Sunday during football season. I want to know what you're eating, who you're with, what you're watching, etc.
ON MY COUCH.
FRIENDS OVER.
NFL PACKAGE ON MULTIPLE TV'S.
CHIPS AND SALSA.
SOME SORT OF FRIED FOOD.
LAPTOP COMPUTER OPEN DFL SITE WITH LIVE SCORING.
Chicago
You've lived in several apartments/condos in the city but my favorite place of yours had to be Belden/Clark. You had booger mix in the corner, an upstairs bedroom, plenty of food nearby, etc. What was your favorite place and why?
IT MAY HAVE TO BE THAT APARTMENT AT THE OLD TOWER RECORDS BUILDING ON BELDEN AND CLARK. THAT PLACE WAS THE ULTIMATE BACHELOR PAD AND I LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT I HAD TO SHARE A BATHROOM WITH DELTA SIERRA. IT WAS THE SITE OF MANY GREAT PARTIES AND MUCH DEBAUCHERY, WHICH IS RIGHT UP MY ALLEY OF COURSE. I THINK YOU ACTUALLY MADE YOUR MARK ON THAT PLACE BY THROWING SOME SORT OF COOKING OIL OR OTHER SUBSTANCE ALL OVER THE WALL. THAT WAS AWESOME. THANKS FOR CONTRIBUTING TO US BEING SUED OVER THE CONDITION OF THE PLACE WHEN WE LEFT. DON'T WORRY...THE CASE WAS THROWN OUT.
(Editor's Note: My bad)
If Mayor Daley came to you and offered free tickets to any Olympic event in 2016 for you and your family, what would you choose?
SKEET SHOOTING - PROBABLY BECAUSE I WOULD LIKELY NEVER WITNESS A SKEET SHOOTING COMPETITION OTHERWISE.
You and I enjoyed numerous lunches during my time at the CBOT and I know you've got your finger on the pulse of Chicago lunch. What is your favorite lunch spot in the loop? Where do you go most often?
IT'S NOT IN THE LOOP, BUT MANNY'S IS CLEARLY MY FAVORITE SPOT FOR LUNCH. IT'S NOT A QUICK LUNCH BECAUSE YOU CAN'T WALK THERE, BUT I TRY TO MAKE IT THERE AT LEAST A FEW TIMES PER MONTH. TOO GOOD TO PASS UP.
If you had a dinner and had to invite three athletes who spent part or all of their careers in chicago who would you eat with and where would you take them? Make sure they're living.
OZZIE GUILLEN
MIKE DITKA
DENNIS RODMAN
NOT SURE WHERE I WOULD TAKE THEM BUT I THINK IT WOULD BE A MEMORABLE MEAL WHEREVER WE ATE.
I know the Bears are run like a piss poor organization, but you seem to genuinely dislike them. Is that an accurate statement? Why are you so annoyed with them?
SINCE THE SUPER BOWL, THERE REALLY IS NOTHING GOOD I CAN SAY ABOUT THE BEARS. OF COURSE I LIKE THEM SOMEWHAT AS THEY ARE THE TEAM OF MY HOMETOWN. HOWEVER, AS AN ORGANIZATION, THEY ARE ABOUT AS BORING AS IT GETS. IF NOT FOR THEIR DECENT DEFENSES FROM TIME TO TIME, THEY MIGHT BE THE WORST NFL FRANCHISE OVER THE PAST 25 YEARS. NOTHING EXCITING ABOUT THEM AT ALL.
What is your favorite White Sox uniform of all time? Would you be open to them returning to the blue/red/white colors?
I THINK THE 1983 SOX JERSEY IS THE SINGLE BEST UNIFORM EVER WORN BY A SPORTS TEAM (ASIDE FROM SPREAD EAGLE'S PREP LEAGUE JERSEYS)
Which White Sox player had the best name? I like Dan Pasqua.
RON KARKOVICE. THAT DUDE WAS AS WEIRD AS HIS NAME.
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