Laminated plastic with a picture and writing on it...how hard is this?

Do you know that feeling you get on Sunday nights before work that absolutely stinks? You know, the one where you absolutely dread going to work the following morning? It probably happened when you were in school as well on Sunday nights and may be a conditioned response its hard for me to shake.

The term I've heard used to describe that feeling is the Wretcheds. For me, they generally hit between 6 and 9 PM on Sundays, depending on the quality of the weekend and the upcoming week at work.

But as I drove home from the DMV I thought of several situations that also give me the Wretcheds. Here's a few of those things we all have to do that also give me the same wretched feeling. After all, our days can't be all fun and games....

-Attending a Funeral
-Packing for anything (moving, a trip)
-Unpacking for anything
-Going through security at an airport
-Dental procedures/work
-Folding socks during laundry
-Dealing with anything run by our goverment.


That last one is really in my crawl after my visit to the DMV this morning in nearby Northbrook. Before I explain, I need to be very clear that I'm a huge fan of our country, but I believe our government is the worst run organization in our country. In fact, its hard to believe how ineffecient it really is until you go see the actual work, done by the actual people, in the actual place where work is going on. Using a list, here's the steps that took place this morning for me to achieve my goal of getting an Illinois Driver's License.

1. I logged on to the computer and went to the website of the Secretary of State.


2. I gather documentation required for my new driver's license out of my car.


3. I drive to the DMV


4. I wait in line


5. I have a man ask me why I'm there


6. I tell him I'd like a get a new driver's license since I'm returing to Illinois after living in Washington


7. He asks for my documentation


8. I give him the documentation


9. He reviews the documentation


10. He finds my passport expired this past october


11. I ask what that means


12. He tells me its not an eligible document


13. I ask if there's any way to make an exception


14. He says he cannot


15. I mention I should be in their computer system, I moved away in September of 2005


16. He looks up my social security number


17. He has no record of me in Illinois


18. I ask how that is possible


19. He tells me they 'purge' records


20. I ask what I should do now


21. He tells me to go to the Skokie Courthouse to get an official Cook County birth certificate.


22. I get in my car, annoyed how screwed up it is that this is so complicated


23. I decide to say screw it and deal with this another day and blog about it in the hopes someone who works in our government sees this and decides to do something about it.

OK, enough of that, but the moral of the story is I didn't get my new license. I wasted time, gasoline, and energy that could have been used for anything more productive. This was not an urgent need, but its definitely something I'd prefer not to spend my time doing. And its all because Government agencies are organized around their needs, not ours. It's more important for them to Cover their Asses than to provide quality service to us, the ones paying their salaries.

Any business that puts the customer first would have a clear understanding for what customers want, and design products and services to meet those needs. Do you think it was an accident that iPhones, iPods, and iTunes were as big of a hit as they were? Apple does well because they are very clear about defining what their customers want and they create products to meet those needs. They also market the hell out of those products, but all the marketing in the world won't guarantee a good experience if their product isn't designed around what a customer wants.

This is the underlying jist of my last job; defining what customers (or stakeholders) need and helping teams implement processes to meet those requirements.

Our government does not see me as a paying customer. If they did, I wouldn't have wasted my morning going over there. I would have logged on to a computer, gone to a website run by our Government, that allows me to securely request a new license and have it delivered to my new address in one or two days.

Sound impossible?


It shouldn't be. I'm asking for a piece of laminated plastic with my information on it. Producing that card takes probably 40 seconds of work. If I can access bank and health records online, why the hell can't I do something like getting a new driver's license?


Waste like this put Detroit Automakers out of business, yet somehow our government can take up to 30% of our income and piss it away on processes and systems that make it seemingly impossible to get what I want from them.

Since the DMV is the only one issuing Drivers Licenses, I'm pretty much screwed and need to schlep down to Skokie and deal with more government BS to get that birth certificate.

And all I wanted was a piece of laminated plastic with my picture and letters and numbers.